Afterglow, aka WHO WILL SERENA KILL NEXT?!?!
Blair is so sweet and amazing in this scene. She’s had a great episode.
I made a list of some lucrative promotional tie-ins for Blair’s character, beyond the obvious headbands, tights, and birth control pills:
- Teddy bears with Blair faces and outfits.
- A computerized Blair Voice you can install to read gossip blogs, critical theory, and the occasional lullaby.
- A new type of martial arts, in which people wear pearls looped around their neck and wrists and batter people with cell phones. I sparred for a while today and it was pretty fun.
- Blair yogurt.
Blair and Serena should forget Yale and start a social destruction company. Blair will do her work and if she fails (never!), Serena will just kill someone.
I’m really hoping that the murder wasn’t an accident. That Serena has cold blood too. That it’ll hang over her for the rest of the series. That she truly has to repent, and battle her demons (not just her alcoholism). Gossip Girl is making regular people villians, and making those villians likeable. The possible moral complexity is unprecedented.
The obligatory “death by sex” musing (more ideas here):
- Strangled by pearls? Impaled by Prada pump? Asphyxiated with errant stocking? Whipped by Serena’s hair?
- Did he tell Serena that he thought that Georgina was prettier?
- He died of syphillis.
What exactly does G know about Serena’s family? Where is Serena’s father? Did Serena kill her father?
OMG what if Georgina and Serena didn’t just adopt the personalities of Svetlana and Savannah, they KILLED people named Svetlana and Savannah then stole their identities?
Will Serena kill Georgina? I’ve heard that once you attack, you can’t go back.
In sum, this is the most mind-boggling, precious, satisfying cultural touchstone of our time.
P.S. Blair, if you’re a real person, please get in touch!
